privacy privacy
On Being Christian - Beware of Self-Inflicted Grief for Pride's Sake
"It is wrong to regard as a virtue the excessive grief, which men feel after committing a sin, not realizing that it is caused by pride and high opinion of themselves." It is natural to try and better ourselves. That when we fall, we train ourselves to recognize why we fell. What was the thinking that led us to fall? But to discipline ourselves in the form of harsh punishment or sour words is not training but merely insulting. Have compassion on yourself and realize that with each endeavor there is bound to be failure - for we learn more from our failures than we do from our successes. Even God allows us to fail that we may recognize some important feature of that failure. For if we succeeded in everything spiritual to easily, then we may take pride and judgement of others with us as we ascend. Or worse, we may be unmerciful for the struggles of others in their spiritual endeavor. This creates not fruit but resentment

When we fall, focusing on the cause within ourselves, and not the punishment, will help us to better train ourselves to rap our lives around the Godly ways. But remember, being Christian is a very unnatural quest. And so it should never come as a shock when we fail. Always remember to invite God in on your venture. After all, it is Him to whom you wish to be unified with, so lend your ear to His small voice to tell you the way.

But also, invite God in on your planning as well. To make sure that the endeavor you are about to undertake is reasonable. It is also important to seek advise from your spiritual advisor. A priest lives in this daily struggle with us. They too are married, have children and (in a way) have a job. So they know the grind with which you face. By confiding in them on your wishes, you will open the door for God to speak through them. Because many times, a spiritual zealot may be unknowingly setting themselves up to fail. And that there chastisement of themselves for this failure is for the sake of men, not God.

Failures and falls are too, sometimes, the tools of God as well. Often times we begin down a path away from the Father, and a sudden fall or failure is meant to open our eyes to our deviation from the path. Living in this world, it is very easy to be distracted and thus veering off the path is very common. So do not self-inflict excessive grief for failures and falls - take corrective measures to correct the error. And if possible, correct the thinking that led to the failure in the first place.

Always remember, the Devil stands at the gate. As long as you remain on this side of the walls of Jerusalem you are protected by God's care. But the moment you leave His care to venture out on your own, the moment you pass through the gates to the other side, you will find the Devil waiting to attack. But he is also a devious demon this former angel of God. Even if you are on the inside, you may look to the gates to the other side. There you will not see the Devil, you will see a pretty girl begging for mercy, or a small child crying for help, or a merchant selling very nice items. Though the Devil has no power over you, he can tempt your eyes, your nose, your ears. Blinding you to God's calling, and drawing you to the gate and eventually through the gate.

Placing upon yourself unrealistic spiritual goals will set yourself up to fail. This failure may cause you to give up hope and abandon your spiritual endeavor. And thus your eye will wander to the exit, the gate, where your heart will desire for what the eye sees. Be compassionate on yourself, and see your Godward progress as a gradual gain - not instantaneous. He is your partner in everything.
Based on the writings of Saint Nicodemus in Unseen Warfare.